Hey Sista, Go Sista, Soul Sista, Flow Sista
So just as we only start to get over our hangovers and begin functioning in society again, yet another Thursday night Lambda is about to roll around. The times have been a-changing within the Lambda fraternity. Fresh bearded faces are about to debut in the dj booth, marketing managers are yet to live down taking there shirts off in public, djs have cut there hair :( and some peeps have been promoted.
One such peep is Lucy. Previously employed as the very un- bitchy door bitch, this red headed beauty is now the newly appointed Madame of Lambda. That might not be her official title exactly, I’m sure running a club equals more than just yelling at people while wearing pearls and dancing on tables, but it sure does have a nice ring to it. To put it in Moulin Rouge terms she’s the Missy Elliot and the dj posse plays the part of Xtina, Maya, Pink with James Wright as Lil’Kim, naturally.
Apart from being the Madame of the night, you should also know Lucy is one of the most photogenic bitches around (hate chu). So with jelousy in my heart and Lady Marmalade in my head, I curtseyed politely and posed some questions to the lady of Lambda.
Tip on making it past the door at Lambda?
Probably my number 1 tip I have is try not to hide a bottle of wine in your skirt and then when you’re at the front of the line drop it in front of everybody, bouncers included (and get clapped off when you get rejected entry). Aside from that, come on in with a smile (or not) and I’ll stamp your arm for a measly price.
Track that gets you on the d-floor?
Ginuwine- Pony.
What do you write on your etch it cup?
B.N.T.K. Bitches Need To Know. What do they need to know? Well, they just need to know, apparently.
Beverage of choice?
Vodka slushies always go down a treat. Although the sugar hangover the next day can be quite interesting…I can honestly say that due to slushies, I am now not allowed to go and work at my other job selling cinema tickets on Friday mornings anymore.
Favourite performance so far?
Definitely Myths and Tropics. They are just such nice guys, ya know!
Most babe’n dj?
You know that Benrama guy? He is kinda cute, I guess…. Haha. 
One thing Lambda is missing?
I think we need more confetti. And streamers. And helium balloons. And maybe bringing back the 90s posters we used to have up on the walls when we started. Think Leonardo DiCaprio (Titanic era), All Saints, Westlife… that sort of deal.
Trick to being so fucking photogenic?
Washing your hair every so often, and having the eyesight of a 60 year old (yeah, I got told that the other day by my optometrist. I kinda wonder what my eyesight will be like when I am 60 if it’s the same as a 60 year old person’s now.)
Best thing you’ve seen at Lambda?
The amount of lovely people who come through every week looking forward to the general Lambda antics that always ensue. And also when my fellow Lambda frat buddy Tim Spooner rode a bike down the footpath outside at 3am.
Worst thing?
When a guy fell over outside the club getting arrested and dislocated his own shoulder.
Also pink vomit in the sinks of the girls bathrooms. 
What the fuck is with the gaffa taped mouths?
I think its some sort of fraternity hazing/initiation ceremony. Perhaps these individuals have decided to create their own fraternity within the Lambda frat? It’s always good to know your brothers/sisters have your back even though you might have a sore mouth the next day from ripping the tape off.
If blondes have more fun, then what to red heads have?
Regrowth and fading hair colour faaaaaaaar too often!
You know it’s time to leave Lambda when………….
Its 4am and James Wright is playing Marvin Gaye.
Once again we have 5 double passes to give away to the Thursday night festivities which this week includes Baby Seal Club, Dead Shades, baby faced djs, girls dancing on podiums, pink vommit and the lovely Lucy.
To win a double pass which equals free entry, free Hell pizza and cheap beverages simply email peny@penylane.com with Lady Marmalade in the subject and they could be yours. Those lucky winners will be notified Thursday morning.
Is Pink supposed to look like a transvestite in the Moulin Rouge video? Is it some kind of joke? Have I missed something?
Also, Lucy is a fox.